Loose Lips

Did you hear what Brother Sam said Ms. Sue was sayin' about Mrs. Helen? Or, have you heard what Pastor Jeff was doin' Friday night? Ever been involved in a conversation like that with a church member? Guess what, you're a gossip! What do you mean I'm a gossip? I didn't repeat what they said. Doesn't matter. A gossip cannot be a gossip without someone who is willing to listen.

The old navy saying is, "loose lips sink ships." I have lived in many places. I've lived in good sized cities, smaller cities and as out in the country as you can get. 2 1/2 years ago I moved to my first small town, Chesterfield, SC, population 1500. I've found many things about small town living I truly treasure. I love the easy going pace. I enjoy the intimate atmosphere. But shortly after I moved here I found out one of the real drawbacks to living in a town where everyone knows everyone, and most are related in some way or another. Word of things get around town, and many times that word has a way of becoming something very distant from the truth. I myself was a victim of the rumor and gossip mill and learned a valuable lesson about life in a small town. According to some, and I do not exaggerate here: My wife had children that we were not telling anyone about; I exposed myself to an old lady in the church; I didn't want certain people in the church; I was stealing from a fund in the church; my wife was having an affair; their were many more, but you get the picture.

In many ways a church is like a small town. It is a community of people and for the most part, the regulars all know each other and many times are related in some way. Sadly, in spite of stern warnings from scripture regarding the evil of gossip, some church people can be among the worst about spreading rumors, half truths or propagating outright lies. Their is an old preachers saying about gossip: Their is a reason the bible talks more of gossip than about drinking, it's because gossip is a bigger problem in the church. So just what does the bible say about gossip? Proverbs gives us some straight talk about this sin.

Proverbs 11:13, "A gossip reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter."

Proverbs 18:8, "The words of a gossip are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the most inmost body."

Proverbs 20:19, "He who goes about as a gossip reveals secrets; Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips."

Proverbs 26:20, "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no gossip, strife ceases."

Gossip is a cancer in the body of Christ. While we all have an innate human curiosity to know things, when it comes to things involving other people, people we claim to love, we should be sure of the truth. In a small town a piece of information can change 3-4 times before it traverses one end of main street to the other. In a church, what's said on one end of a pew is often far different than what is heard on the other end. Gossip does nothing more than reveal a true spiritual immaturity. He who spreads it has a desire for attention and to stir things up. He who listens is just as guilty.

I'm reminded of an old episode of the Andy Griffith Show, one of those great old shows which taught us moral lessons, and was not ashamed of Christian values. In it, Andy and Barney are tickled at how a piece of information, after it has passed from Clara, to Aunt Bea to another woman, has grown from a simple thing to a dramatic event. Barney has cut his finger, but when this information made it's way through town, Barney was on his deathbed. The women took offense and decided to show the men that they were as big of gossips as they believed the women were. So they plant a seed about a shoe salesman in town, that he's not what he appears to be. By the time the tale works it's way through the men, the gentleman is a talent scout from New York City. The point being, gossip is not gender specific, and even good people can fall prey to it. So what should one do if confronted with information regarding someone else? Here are a few recommendations:

1) If you do hear something about someone, go to the person. If you are not willing to speak with someone about something, you should not speak with anyone else about it.

2) If someone says, "don't tell anyone else about this." DO NOT LISTEN!!!

3) A word of prayer is far better than a word to the neighbor. God is someone we can talk to who we know will not repeat things.

4) Avoid people who are consistently talking about other people.

5) Love thy neighbor as thyself! How would you feel if people were talking about you. The best way to not gossip is not to repeat things.

Gossip is a sin. If you repeat something that is not true, you have lied, whether you know it or not. More strife is brought about in peoples lives and the church from "loose lips" than most other things. And the thing about gossip is, we are inherently in control of it. If we do not listen, we cannot repeat. If we do here something inadvertently, we should always consider the source and respect the person being spoken of by dealing only with them. Feel free to add to my list of recommendations. And remember, as Harry Truman said, "the buck stops here."